


Don't Take the Girl

by faegal04



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Crushes, F/M, Marriage, Pregnancy, Romance, Secret Crush, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 03:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16925718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faegal04/pseuds/faegal04
Summary: Growing up is hard, especially when you love your big brother’s best friend.  Dean Winchester is that best friend. He’s watched you grow up, let you tag along with him and Cas. Through the years, you develop a crush on Dean and that turns into love. Will Dean ever see you as more than Cas’s little sister?





	1. Gone Fishin'

_**Present** _

_“Sir, you need to leave now!” came the frustrated voice._

_“NO! I won’t leave, I have to stay!” he yelled._

_“Please, we’ll do everything we can,” strong arms grasped him and moved him towards the door._

_Once in the hall, he fell to his knees and sobbed._

**_Seventeen Years ago_ **

For as long you could remember, which really wasn’t all that long since you were six, he was always there. The first real memory you had of Dean Winchester was when you’re Dad took the three of you fishing. Cas and Dean had met in kindergarten and became best friends. Your older brother was nine, but he had been kind of sickly growing up and Dean had stuck up for him when some bullies took his milk at snack time. Dean was good for saving people.

Cas didn’t want you to come fishing with them, cause you were just a girl, but Dean always convinced him to let you tag along. “Cas, you gotta be nice to her, she’s your baby sister,” Dean said patting Cas on the back. Your Dad grinned at Dean nodding his head appreciatively.

“Dean’s right son. One day the two of you may live in different states and won’t get to see each much. Y/N loves you, Cas, she just wants to be with her big brother, while she can,” your dad said.

Cas huffed out a breath, “Fine, she can come. I’m not putting the worms on the hook though for you, Y/N. If you wanna fish with us boys, you have to do it yourself.”

You nodded your head, looking a little sick, “Okay, Cas. I promise I’ll be quiet, and I-I’ll put the worms on.”

–

Dean grabbed your hand, so you wouldn’t fall on the way to the dock, he leaned closer to you and whispered, “Don’t worry about the worms, bug, I got you,” he tried to wink at you.

You smiled at him and he grinned at your toothless smile, “Thanks, Dean. Why does Cas hate me?” you whispered.

Dean stopped walking, “Hey, he doesn’t hate you. I’ll talk to him, sometimes it’s hard for us big brothers to remember that you and Sammy just want to spend time with us. C’mon, let’s go get that worm, but bug, a pink fishing pole? Dude we got to get you a new one.”

You giggled, “Thanks Dean, you’re smart. Pink is my favorite color, don’t want a new pole,” you stuck your bottom lip out.

“Fine, you know I can’t resist your boo boo lip,” he shook his head. “Sammy is gonna be so mad, that he missed out on fishing today.”

“I hope he feels better soon, Dean. You look sad when he is sick, not like Cas. He laughed at me the last time I got sick,” you shook your head making your pigtails hit you in the face.

Dean laughed at you, “He laughed cause you threw up on the doctor, goofy. Not cause you were sick. He told me it was awesome and he thought that the doctor was going to barf too.”

You looked at him like you didn’t believe him. You decided you would ask Cas about it later once you were home. You walked onto the deck and Dean made sure to keep your hand wrapped in his, so that you didn’t go to close to the edge. He made sure you stayed back and went to your Dad to get your pole.

“I’ll help, Y/N, Mr. Novak,” Dean said.

“Are you sure son? I don’t mind helping her.”

“It’s all good, sir,” he took the pole and walked back over to you. Okay, let’s go fishin’.”

He sat down at the edge first then helped you sit next to him, he got a worm out of the can and put it on the hook of your fishing pole, he laughed when you hid your eyes on his shoulder. “Here you go, bug.”

You took the pole from him and helped you cast out into the water, then he got his pole ready  and cast out as well. Before long you were both sitting there kicking your feet out over the water. Dean knew when you started getting tired from the little yawns you kept trying to cover up. He started humming when you put your head on his shoulder, “Dean, what are you humming?” you asked sleepily.

 

“It’s a song my mom sings to me and Sam. It’s called “Hey Jude,” he replied softly.


	2. Gonna Marry That Boy

_**Present** _

_Ever since she told me that it was a possibility, I can’t think of anything else._

_Is this the best time?_

_Are we ready for this?_

_I’m terrified, I can’t do this!_

_How many mistakes will I make?_

_No matter what goes through my head, I just have look at her smiling at me and she calms my world._

_She isn’t worried at all._

_Life has no guarantees, I just have to believe this will work out like it should._

**Sixteen Years Ago**

Sitting on your porch, you were waiting to leave for school when Dean finally walked up to sit next to you, you smiled. “Hey Dean!” you said with a big smile. You were so glad that Dean walked with you and Cas to school everyday. He talked a lot more than Cas, and he didn’t pick on you like Cas did.

“Hi bug!” he reached out and tugged gently on one of your pigtails. “Let me guess, Cas is late again?” he said with a dramatic sigh.

You nodded, “Dean do you think you guys will be on the playground today at recess?” You didn’t look at him, but grabbed one end of a pigtail and started chewing on it.

Dean looked over at you, reaching out with one hand, he took your pigtail out. “Should be. Why are you chewing on your hair? You only do that when you’re nervous.”

The screen door banged open, saving you from having to answer, you really liked Dean but sometimes he was to smart. You jumped up and grabbed your bookbag, “Let’s go, slow poke is finally here.”

Dean looked at you strangely before standing up and brushing his jeans off. He would let it go for now, but at recess he would get you to talk about whatever was bugging you. “Let’s go Cas, bug is anxious for school. I think she’s got a boyfriend, she wants to see.”

You stopped walking, turned around, dropping your backpack on the ground you put both hands on your hips and gave Dean the meanest look you could. “I don’t have a boyfriend, are you nuts? Boys are gross!”

Dean laughed loudly, “Hey! Cas is a boy,” the look you gave him was like duh. He grinned, “Well, I’m a boy too, do you think I’m gross?”

You tilted your head for a minute, a serious look on your face, “YUP!” You squealed with laughter when Dean growled and started to chase you.

“I’ll show you gross,” he laughed as he sprinted after you, he did pause long enough to pick up the backpack you had abandoned.

“Why do you encourage her Dean,” Cas said looking completely bored.

“Dude, you need to lighten up! You’re always so serious!” Dean exclaimed. He threw his arm around Cas’ shoulder squeezing it a couple times. “C’mon, brother, let’s chase Y/N, she’ll love it!”

Cas rolled his eyes, “Alright..brother,” he said with a grin. “Y/N, I’m gonna get you!” He ran after you laughing with Dean right behind him.

–

You were sitting in the classroom looking at the clock trying to remember which hand meant what. It was almost time for recess, you knew that much. You didn’t want to go out though, because it meant he would be there. Gordon was ten like Cas and Dean, but he was meaner than a snake to you. Most days you could avoid him by playing with Charlie and Sam but they were out sick with chickenpox. Sam stuck up for you when he could, but he was only seven like you.

“Alright class, let’s put our work away. It’s time for recess,” Mrs. Harvelle said.

You sighed, looking out the window you smiled, Cas was outside, so that meant Dean was too. Maybe you could talk Cas into playing with you that would make Gordon leave you alone. You lined up with the rest of the class, stopping at the water fountain first. You finally made it outside and started looking for Cas or Dean when Gordon stepped in your path.

“Well, well, it’s stinky, ugly Y/N,” Gordon said with a mean look on his face.

You looked at the ground, tears filling your eyes.

–

Dean saw when your class came outside for recess. Cas was busy playing basketball with some of the guys, so Dean headed off towards you. He frowned when he saw Gordon step in front of you and watched as you put your head down. He walked a little quicker anxious to get to you.

You tried to ignore Gordon, making a step to the side. You would just go around him, he held his arm out to stop you. “Please,” you said quietly, still not looking at him.

“Oh is the baby going to cry now,” he sneered. “I’ll give you something to cry about, brat.” He reached out, shoving you down on the ground, laughing when you fell on your butt.

Dean heard what Gordon said, his anger bubbling up, but when he saw you pushed to the ground Dean exploded. He ran the rest of the way over and shouted, “HEY asshole!” He shoved Gordon away from you, keeping his eyes on Gordon he kneeled down. “Sweetheart you okay,” he murmured gently. “Look at me, bug.”

You were crying softly and wouldn’t look up at him. He grabbed your hand but quickly let go when you flinched. “Y/N, please let me see your hand,” Dean said.

“What is going on here, Mr. Winchester?” Mrs. Harvelle demanded.

“That jerk, shoved Y/N down. I’m trying to make sure she’s okay, ma’am.”

“Y/N, is this true? Did Gordon push you?” Mrs. Harvelle asked. At your shaky nod, she grabbed Gordon by the arm. “Let’s go, you get to talk to the principal young man. Dean, will you please take Y/N to the nurse?”

He nodded and sat next to you, he gently took your hand in his, turning it palm side up to see the bloody scrapes. He swore silently to himself, promising to get even with Gordon later. “C’mon bug, let’s get you to the nurse,” he said.

After Dean left you with the nurse, you started to think that maybe some boys-Dean mostly might not be to gross after all. You made the decision right then that one day you were gonna marry that boy.


	3. Hey Jude

_**Present** _

_The first time I found out about you I was scared._

_Was this the right time?_

_Could I do this?_

_How do I tell him?_

_Will he be just as scared?_

_I know that together we can do anything._

_I hear the car in the driveway, I know what scared is._

_–_

_“Hey baby!” Dean said. He bent down to kiss you, “I missed you today. What’s wrong sweetheart?”_

_“I have something to tell you,” you murmured. “Sit with me.”_

_–_

_Life has no guarantees, we just have to believe this will work out like it should._

_Ever since we found out for sure, he sings to you every night._

**Thirteen Years Ago**

You had worked on it for weeks, wanting to make sure that it was perfect. His birthday was Saturday and you still had to get his present. You knew it was silly to make him a card, but you had been doing it since you were six. He seemed to really like them too.

> 💓💓💓 Happy Birthday Dean💓💓💓
> 
> I hope you get everything you wanted
> 
> 💓💓💓💓💓💓
> 
> I like hanging out with you
> 
> You always make me feel wanted
> 
> 💓💓💓💓💓💓
> 
> You are my best friend
> 
> You and me are stuck like glue
> 
> (I still blame you for all the trouble we got in over that)
> 
> 💓💓💓💓💓💓
> 
> There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you
> 
> Love,
> 
> Y/N
> 
> 💓

Now that the card was perfect for him, you hunted down your brother, he still owed you money for doing some of his chores for the past couple of weeks.  “Cas!” you yelled from your bedroom.

“I’m in the living room, bug!” Cas yelled back.

“Castiel Michael and Y/F/N Y/M/N, why are you shouting!” your mother called out from the kitchen. She shook her head and chuckled when you both screamed back ‘Sorry, mom.’

“Hey, you owe me money. I need it today, Cas,” you said once you found your brother playing video games in the living room.

“Later, I’m busy,” Cas retorted.

You rolled your eyes, “No, **now**! I need it for Dean’s present, Cas. C’mon!” He shook his head, never taking his attention off the tv screen. You growled at him and launched yourself across the living room, landing on his back with a thud.

You quickly grabbed one of his arms and twisted it behind his back, you wrapped one arm around his neck and tried to bend him in half. Dean had taught you a thing or two, since Gordon. Cas was all spindly legged and he could be fast as all get out, but you had the upper hand this time.

“Pay me now!” you kept repeating over and over again getting a little louder every time. For thirteen Cas could sure sound like a girl.

You heard chuckling from behind you and froze. “I taught you well, sweetheart,” Dean said. You turned your head to look at him, not releasing Cas, you blushed when Dean winked at you.

“Dean, get her off of me!” Cas mumbled. He started to struggle more when he noticed that you weren’t as intent on folding him like a pretzel. “Y/N I will tell D-”

You quickly let go of Cas’s neck. “Fine, but until you give me the money, I’m not lettin’ go of your arm.”

Dean thought it was hysterical that you managed to pull Cas up from the floor with one of his arms behind his back. “Uh, guess I’ll wait right here,” he said laughing as you forced Cas up the stairs.

–

“So where are you going, Y/N?” Dean asked when he saw you put your boots and coat on.

“I have to go to uh, Charlie’s,” you stammered. You couldn’t tell him you were going to buy his present, cause he would beg to come with you, and you wouldn’t stop him because you liked him. Like, ‘liked’ him.

“Have fun, then. Hey,  _what_  did you get me for my birthday? You always get me the best presents,” Dean said with a smile.

“I can’t tell you, birthday presents are surprises, Dean,” you replied, inside you were dying,  _‘He likes my presents, thinks they are the best,’_  you thought.

“Spoilsport!” Dean stuck his tongue out at you. “Alright Cas, let’s get you past this level.”

You waved at both of them as you walked out the door, well Dean more than Cas because he was a jerk. You headed down the sidewalk towards Main Street, specifically Gabriel’s Music Store. Since you were able to tickle it out of Sam what Dean was getting for his birthday this year, you had only one thought. You were getting him sheet music with his name embossed on the top and the sheet music to “Hey Jude” so that he could learn to play it.

He still sang it to you whenever you asked. He could be super busy or tired but he would always sit down next to you, wrap his arm around your shoulders and sing it. You knew it was something his mom would like too, seeing that she used to sing it to them when they were little.

Thankfully, there weren’t to many people in the store, Gabe was always super nice and had candy around for the kids. He helped you in making the decision on the type of paper and how the writing would look on the blank sheet music. He had also made sure that he had a copy of the song for you as well.

–

Saturday morning rolled around bright and sunny, you woke up so excited. Dean was thirteen today! You had wrapped his presents the night before, being very careful not to bend the sheets.

You took a quick shower, dressing in the jean skirt you had laid out the night before. The t-shirt was one of Dean’s that he had left at your house when he had stayed with Cas. You pulled your hair up into a ponytail, and put a little lip gloss on. Smiling at your reflection, you went downstairs, had breakfast, ignored Cas making fun of you-you promised yourself that you wouldn’t beat him up today no matter what he did.

You sat in the living room watching tv until it was time to leave for Dean’s. You and Cas walked together to his house, your parents would be along later for the small dinner that was happening. Cas made it to the door first and knocked.

Mary Winchester smiled as she opened the door, “Castiel, Y/N, I’m glad that you both could make it. Come on in, Dean and Sam are in the living room.”

Cas took off towards the boys, while you stood there awkwardly. “Y/N, honey are you okay?” Mary asked.

“Yeah, I just know that there aren’t going to be many girls here, and boys can be jerks,” you blushed up at her.

“Well that’s true, there won’t be many girls here, but I’ll tell you a secret,” she leaned down close to you, “Dean would never let a boy be a jerk to you. He loves you sweetie.”

“Wh-um,” you couldn’t even talk. You knew that Dean liked you but loved you, there was no way. At least not like how you loved him anyway. You smiled at her, “Thanks Mrs. Winchester.”

“Now go on in there, I know Sam was anxious for you to get here, since you’re the same age.”

“Yes ma’am,” you said. “Sammy, I’m here!”

Sam ran out and hugged you, “Hey, bug! I’m glad you are here.” he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into the living room.

“It’s my birthday and you don’t come running right for me? I see how it is now. You yelled for my brother, not me. I thought I was your favorite Winchester, Y/N.” Dean said adding a frown to his face though looking in his eyes you realized he was joking.

“Happy Birthday Dean!” you stammered, looking at your feet.

“I have to show you what my parents got me! It’s the best thing ever!” Dean said excitement plan on his face. He ran up to his room and was back before you had a chance to sit down.

Dean proudly held out the guitar for you to see it, you smiled, knowing already that he was getting it. “Isn’t it awesome!”

“It’s great! I think what I got you might help you with it, too,” you added shyly.

“Well then gimme! I am the birthday boy!” he said with a smirk.

You handed the package to him nervously. You sat there biting your lip as he carefully opened it.

Watching his eyes, you saw them fill with happiness when he saw the words  _“Composed by Dean J Winchester”_  at the tops of the pages. Then his entire face lit up when he saw “Hey Jude”.

“I can learn to play this for you, Y/N! That way I can sing it with the music whenever you want!” he said bouncing up and down on his toes. Dean read the card that you had made for him and he smiled. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to your feet, he leaned down and softly whispered, “I told you that you always get me the best gifts. Thank you for this. I love it and I love you,” he placed his lips gently on your cheek.


	4. I Wonder If He Knows

_**Present** _

_“Dean!” Sam shouted. Sam ran to his brother collapsing next to him. He had never seen his brother pray before. “What’s happening? Why are you out here?”_

_Dean didn’t-couldn’t even acknowledge his brother, his gaze focused on the ceiling, tears pouring down his face, chest heaving with sobs._

_“Please, please don’t take this from me,” Dean begged on his knees. “Take me instead, please.”_

_Sam listened to his brothers pleas and tears started to fall from his own eyes, his heart breaking for Dean._

_“Mr. Winchester,”  a female voice said softly behind him._

**Nine Years Ago**

Being a teenager sucked, you thought morosely as you watched Dean and Cas head off to the lake. Sure you were still invited to hang out with them occasionally over the years, but now that they were seniors you were left out more often than not. No one needed a fourteen year old girl hanging around, Dean was more so the one who ended up saying no to your requests. He said that the parties weren’t a place for someone he thought of like a sister. That had hurt more than anything else-little sister, he would never see you the way you saw him.

“Sweetie, come inside. Why don’t you call Charlie and see if she wants to go the mall?” your mother said from the doorway. She knew that you had a crush on Dean and hated to see you so sad.

You shook your head, “Not right now, mom. Maybe later,” you sighed. You heard the screen door open and inwardly groaned, another pep talk on it’s way. Deciding to head her off at the pass, you said, “Why doesn’t he see me mom? See me as more than a little sister, at least. It’s not fair, I mean I know I’m not as pretty as some of the girls from school. It’s almost like he looks right through me.”

Your mom sat next to you on the top step, she wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, “Y/N you are a beautiful young woman, and one day you will find someone who thinks that you hung the world. Crushes are hard, sweetie and I wish I could take away the pain you feel right now, but unfortunately it’s a part of growing up.” She pressed her lips to the top of your head at the shudder that went through you. “Dean sees you baby, he does. Why do you think he doesn’t? He comes to all your softball games-he cheers the loudest out of anyone for you, when you’re sick isn’t he the one who sings to you?  He sees you baby-why do you think he talked Cas into both of them going to the movies when Patrick took you a couple of weeks ago?”

“Cause he sees me as a little sister,” you said looking a little confused.

Your mom chuckled,”Give it time, baby,” she gave you another kiss and squeeze, before standing up, “Come on, let’s go get Charlie, I’m taking you girls to the mall for some shopping therapy.”

–

“Hey bug!” Dean called out as you were headed to your locker.

You turned around, “Hi Dean! What’s up?” you fiddled with the lock to your locker.

“I wanted to ask you about your party on Saturday,” Dean said.

“What about it? You better not be backing out of it Winchester!” you teased him.

“Never! I can’t miss my girl’s birthday!” He smiled at you.

You felt your heart flutter at his words and his smile, when he smiled like that his eyes twinkled like an emerald. You turned to face you locker so that he couldn’t see the blush that worked it’s way over your face.

“I wanted to ask you if it was okay if I brought someone with me to the party?” Dean said, stopping to give Patrick a dirty look when he saw him standing on the other side of you. “Dude, do you mind? We are trying to have a conversation here.”

You looked at Dean, turning your head you saw who he was talking to, “Hi Patrick! Dean, Sammy’s already invited-”

“No, not Sammy. I wanna bring Meg if that’s cool?” he said still giving Patrick the evil eye. “See, we have a date after your party, and I thought that maybe I could just bring her and we can head to the movies afterwards.”

Your whole body jerked at his words. He wanted to bring a date to  _your_  birthday party. Maybe Sam and Charlie were right, it was time to grow up, to leave Dean in the past. You found courage from within to turn and smile at him as you closed your locker. “Sure, you can bring her, no problem, I’ll text mom and let her know.” You turned away from him, “Patrick, you want to walk me to my next class?”

Dean’s brow furrowed, you never walked with Patrick before, why now? Why did it bother him so much to see Patrick take your books and carry them? He stood silently watching you walk away, green eyes flashing with jealousy.

–

The night before your party you decided to have Charlie and Ruby sleepover. Sam decided to crash the party around midnight by sneaking in through your bedroom window. They were going to try and help you get over Dean, even though you thought it was hopeless. For the past few days he had been hanging out at your house, often when Cas wasn’t even home. He said it was because he missed hanging out with you, but when he would get a call from Meg or a text it was like a knife being driven into your heart, cause you wanted his eyes to light up like they did because of you, not her.

“Okay, so Patrick is coming right?” Charlie said as she braided Ruby’s hair.

Sam nodded, “Yup and i even mentioned how excited you were, Y/N for him to come.” Sam didn’t mention that he said it in front of Dean and that it looked like his brother was going to throw a fit, storming out of the room.

“I gave him some tips on things to buy you for your birthday too,” Ruby winked at you from the floor.

You blushed, “I don’t think Patrick likes me like that.” Sure he was cute, but you knew that no-one would ever replace Dean in your heart.

“You are so blind, kiddo!” Sam said. “You are perfect. Hell, I think my brother is an idiot. You have no idea how many guys have asked me about you.”

You stared at Sam in surprise, “Shut up Sammy! That’s not funny.”

Charlie stood up from the floor, jumping on your bed. “He’s right you know. You are gorgeous, Y/N. If this doesn’t work out with Patrick, we’ll be beating the guys off with a stick.” She started jumping up and down on your bed tickling you making you laugh, and when Sam and Ruby joined in all of you were laughing so loud that you ended up waking up your parents. The three of you shoved Sam into your closet so he didn’t get into trouble.

“Y/N, Charlie and Ruby,” your mother said as she opened your door, “It’s late, you all need to quiet down and get some sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am, sorry,” you all said together. Once she was out of the room, you opened the door and let Sammy out.

“Time to go, see you tomorrow Sammy,” you said quietly, standing up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Thanks,” you whispered in his ear.

Charlie looked down at her phone when her text alert sounded and frowned when she looked back at Sam questioningly. He shook his head at her discreetly. She nodded her understanding.

After Sam left, the three of you settled down to get some sleep. Before you closed your eyes, you looked at the picture of you and Dean from last year’s fourth of July picnic. It was your favorite picture of the two of you. He had his arm around you, his head was resting on yours and you were both smiling into the camera. Sleep would be a long time coming for you that night.

Charlie read the text message from Sam under her blanket. Her smile getting bigger and bigger as she read it. Things may be looking up after all.

–

Dean was on the couch when Sam got back home. “Never thought Mr. Goody Two Shoes would come in after midnight! Had a hot date, Sammy?” Dean chuckled.

“Seriously dude, I was at Y/N’s.”

“Why were you there this late? Is she okay?” Dean asked nothing but concern on his face now.

“Yeah, she’s fine, I can’t hang out with my friends,” Sam said. “I had to give Charlie my half of the gift money too.”

“What are you getting her? Meg and I are giving her cash. I figure that’s the best thing a fifteen year old would want,” Dean said, he wanted to get something more personable for you, but Meg got upset every time he mentioned it.  

“Dude, you are so whipped,” Sam scoffed. “Y/N always gets you the perfect gift every year and you are giving her money. Pathetic!”

“Well Einstein, what are you guys getting her?” Dean spat.

“Tickets to Fall Out Boy,” Sam replied.

He smiled softly, “Yeah she’ll love that, Sammy.” He didn’t want to say that he had gone ahead and gotten you something too, he just had to give it to you away from Meg.

Dean went upstairs to his room, pulling his t-shirt off he flopped down on his bed, looking at the nightstand he picked up the picture that was the last thing he saw every night and the first thing he saw in the morning, it was his favorite picture of him and you. Little did he realize it was the same picture that you had on your nightstand.

–

The party was going strong when Dean showed up with Meg. You had been preparing yourself for it all day. You knew it was going to hurt, but you had gotten good at hiding your feelings around him. You could fake smile your way out of anything, but seeing them together holding hands was killing you.

Charlie and Sam tried to keep your occupied, they kept throwing Patrick in your path during the party, hoping that he would be able to make you smile, it seemed to be working until it became time to open your gifts. When you got to handwriting that you were very familiar with, your hand shook as you picked up the card, opening it you felt your smile slip just a little but quickly reigned it in. Plastering a big smile on your face, your eyes sought out Dean, you nodded to them both, “Thank you,” you said softly eyes welling up with tears you cleared your throat, “Cake time guys, everybody outside, okay?”

Dean’s heart stuttered when you looked at him with such heartbreak at the impersonal gift. It made him feel like shit, he only hoped that when you found your real gift that it would make up for the money.

Charlie walked up to you, “Sweetie what’s wrong?”

“You’re right Charlie, I need to get over him, this isn’t ever going to work out like I want it to,” you sniffled. “I’m going to go wash my face real quick, I’ll be back.”

Dean watched you walk upstairs, he wanted to follow you, it killed him to see you hurting like this, especially because it was his fault. You were his best friend’s little sister and over the years he had come to think of you like his own little sister, but yet he thought of you as more than a sister too. He was confused about his feelings. He was almost three years older than you, but he was happiest when he was with you.

 _‘Fuck, what a mess,’_  he thought.


	5. She's a Wild One

_**Present** _

_“I haven’t taken it off since my fifteenth birthday,” you said to Dean. Your hand wrapped around the locket protectively. “Do you remember?”_

_“Yeah, I remember, sweetheart,” he said kissing the side of your head, while he rubbed your belly. “You only have to take it off for a little while. I’ll hold on to it for now.”_

_You nodded hesitantly, you had already had to take your wedding bands off and were feeling pretty emotional about everything these days. You moved your hair out of the way feeling Dean’s lips on the back of your neck. You closed your eyes and let your mind drift away into memories._

_‘That night was imprinted in your memory. You had opened Dean and Meg’s gift last and it had broken your heart when you opened the card to find money inside. That was when you had realized it was time to get over him, that he was never going to love you like you loved him._

_You had gone upstairs to wipe the tears away, also just to get away by yourself. It hurt to see him holding hands with her. You stopped by your room and flung yourself down on the bed, staring at the picture of the two of you. Grabbing your pillow to put under your chin, you were surprised when a small wrapped box fell next to you on the bed. You rolled over onto your back, holding the box up. “Where did this come from,” you said softly._

_A quick pull on the metallic blue bow and a fingernail under the corner of tape and a black velvet jewelry box appeared. You held your breath as you opened it. A gasp escaping once the silver locket became visible. “Dean,” you whispered more tears filling your eyes. You ran a finger lightly over the inscription- “Take a sad song, make it better.”’_

_–_

_He opened his hand and stared down at the pendant he was gripping. He promised that it would only be off for a little while, he had to keep that promise._

**Seven Years Ago**

He pulled up at Singers’ Lake, unable to believe how packed it was. He had been gone most of the summer helping his Grandfather Campbell on his farm. This was the last big party of the summer before school started. Even though technically Dean was twenty, he was still friends with quite a few of the underclassmen. The only way Cas had gotten him here today was because of Y/N.

Sam had called him about halfway through summer, telling him that you had started hanging out with the wrong crowd. He was worried about you, your parents were worried and Dean realized that it was serious enough to have Cas concerned as well. He had left his grandparents house a week sooner than what he had planned. He needed to make sure you were okay.

Things had been strained to say the least between the two of you for a couple years now. He knew you got the gift because you were wearing it when you came downstairs the night of your fifteenth birthday. You had nodded at him and smiled with thanks. He knew that the reason you didn’t come over to him was because of Meg. Shortly after that, whenever Dean was around, you weren’t. Charlie and Ruby always had you doing something away from your house. Hell you even joined the volleyball team at school, giving up softball, something that still floored him.

Whenever he texted you, just wanting to check in you always had responded with one word answers. He knew it was because of him that you were spending so little time at home and it bothered him. He missed you, he never knew how much you meant to him until you weren’t there anymore. Before if he had called, texted or just shown up, you would give up whatever plans you had to stay there with him. He wanted his friend back and today he was getting her back.

He parked the old Chevy pickup off the dirt road that led up to the lake. He got out stretching, pulling his t-shirt off with one hand, he threw it over his shoulder and started walking to where he could see Sam. It was a good thing that kid grew like he did, it made him the easiest to find anywhere. ‘Who needed Waldo’ he chuckled to himself. “Sammy!”

“Hey man!” Sammy said. “Thanks for coming back early, dude.”

Dean nodded, looking around the crowd, his attention caught by some hot chick dancing away on the hood of a pickup. She was wearing a royal blue bikini, with bottoms that barely covered the cheeks of her perfectly shaped ass. Her hair was long and wavy down her back moving with the sway of her body. He shook his head, “Uh, where’s our girl?”

Sam looked at Dean confused, “Are you serious right now?” His gaze moving back to the hot chick dancing on the truck.

Dean cocked his head to the side, “Dude, she’s hot, but we need to find Y/N. Get your head in the game.”

Sam laughed, “You’ve been staring at Y/N since you walked up.” Slowly he let his eyes drift back over to the pickup.

Dean looked at the girl, then at Sam, “ **NO**! Are you…Is that….What the fuck Sam?!” Dean growled, what the hell was wrong with Sam, letting you dance like that on a truck in front of all these people. He threw his t-shirt at his brother and stomped over to the truck. “Y/N!”

–

All you wanted was to dance, you were tired of everybody trying to tell you what to do. It was exhausting. First your parents trying to dictate everything you did, then Cas finally trying to be the ‘big brother’, next thing you knew Charlie and Sam were in on it too. Why couldn’t they let you be? You were trying to do what you thought they wanted. No one wanted you moping around the house, pining over Dean freakin’ Winchester, so you weren’t.

Meeting Lisa and Brady had been a godsend. They didn’t let you wallow, they wanted to have fun, so what if you were drinking, staying out late, lying to your parents about where you were spending your nights. He was finally off of your mind and if you had to drink to the bottom of every bottle of whiskey you could get your hands on, so be it. You knew Brady was interested in you, maybe tonight would be the night that you said fuck it all and slept with him.

Letting the music carry you away, you moved your body in time with the beat, you knew people- mostly guys were staring and you didn’t care. It made you feel beautiful, wanted-all you truly wanted was for Dean to look at you like these guys were. You tipped the bottle up to your mouth taking a long drink.  _‘Did someone say my name?’_

–

“Y/N! Dammit get your ass down from there!”

“Hey asshole! Who the hell do you think you are yelling at my girl like that!” a tall dirty blonde haired guy said.

Dean didn’t even respond, he drew back a fist and slammed it into the guy’s face. He dropped like a rock, blood gushing from his nose. “Y/N! Don’t make me come up there to get you!” his hand grabbed the bottle of whiskey from your hand causing you to stumble.

You shook your head to clear away that buzzed feeling, “Dean! What the hell did you do to Brady?”

Dean wrapped his arm around the back of your legs and lifted you off the truck, depositing you over his shoulder in the same movement. He ignored your struggles, the pounding of fists against his back, he lifted one hand and delivered a hard ‘SMACK’ to your ass. “Knock it off, sweetheart! I can keep this up all day!” He said as he delivered another open palm smack, seeing the imprint of his hand on your pale ass, was doing things deep inside him. He stalked past Sam, holding one hand out for his shirt as he continued on to where his truck was parked.

Sam and Cas managed to keep everyone else from interfering with what was happening, giving Dean the space they hoped would bring back the girl that everyone  missed. Dean headed straight for the bed of his truck, with one hand he put the tailgate down. He deposited you roughly on it.

You immediately tried to get up, but Dean bent down putting a hand on either side of you, keeping you in one place. “Don’t even think about princess,” he said cockily. “We are going to talk and you are not leaving my sight.”

You huffed and crossed your arms defensively in front of you. “We have nothing to talk about. Just leave me alone and go find someone else to bother.”

Dean sighed, he could tell you were hurting, not physically, but something was hurting you and he had had enough. “Bug, please, talk to me,” he whispered, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

You blinked at the look on his face, “What do you want me to say Dean? That I hate everything about my life. That I wish I had never been born. That I wish I could forget you.”

He looked at you like you had struck him. “Forget me?” He was unsure of what to think about that, you were still wearing the locket he had given you, so he didn’t think you were serious about that. “Why do you want to forget me? Y/N, I miss you. I miss you so goddamned much that it hurts. Even though you are sitting right in front of me, I miss you! Where did my friend go?” he paused at the soft sob he heard. “You used to love to be around me, then nothing. I mean you were there, but you weren’t.”

“I remember how you used to make me those handmade birthday cards every year, you know the ones, I’m talking about, you always decorated ‘em with hearts, those cards were the highlight of my day. I get that you grew up, I guess I never realized how much until just now.” He ran a hand through his short hair and heaved a deep breath out. “We-I miss you, I just want you back kiddo.”

“Kiddo-there it is,” you looked at him with tears starting to fall from your eyes. He looked confused, “That’s all I am isn’t it. Just a kid. Your ‘little sister’. Your best friend’s little sister. I won’t ever be anything more, will I?”

Dean stared at you for a long time, realization slowly seeping through at what you were saying. “Y/N you are all of those things, but-” he held up one hand to stop you from speaking, “But you are also so much more. It wasn’t until you disappeared that I realized it. I don’t know what to do, you’re my best friend’s little sister, I’ve watched you grow up into this amazing, beautiful woman, who’s a bit of a wild one and what I feel for you scares the hell out of me.”

“It scares me too, but sometimes you just have to be scared and let whatever needs to happen just happen. If you wait too long, you could miss it,” you said softly.

“It’s your choice now,” you turned and walked away from him.”


	6. So Complicated

**_Present_ **

_“Something’s wrong!” you shouted in between panting breaths. You knew it would hurt, but this was beyond hurt. “I-I-I can’t breath! Please!”_

_“Y/N, you need to calm down. This isn’t good for either of you. You’re going to hyperventilate, breathe slowly-” the doctor stopped when you grabbed her hand roughly. “I need to check you, I know you’ve been at this a while. Just relax for me for just a few minutes.”_

_Dean was clutching your hand, “Baby, just hold on, look at me! Y/N! Look at me! Focus on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out.”_

_Alarms began going off, “Y/N? Baby! Doc, something’s wrong!” Dean yelled, your body going limp._

_The doctor stepped back up towards your head, taking her knuckles she started rubbing against your chest bone, “Y/N! Alright people, fetal heart rate is dropping and her pressure just bottomed out. Let’s move! O.R. 5 STAT!”_

**Seven Years Ago**

You stood looking at yourself in the mirror, debating on whether or not this was the homecoming dress for you. Sure it was cute, just your style, but did you really want to go? You had promised Sam and Charlie that you would try. Thank God that they were your true friends, you wouldn’t have blamed either of them if they had decided that you weren’t worth it anymore. As the summer ended, you had shut yourself back into your room, not wanting to be around anyone.

Dean punching Brady, had effectively ended the friendship between Brady and you and thereby Lisa as well, in most ways that was good though. You didn’t like the person you had been becoming. But Charlie was having none of it and Sam was right behind her. She had been knocking on your door and bursting into your room declaring that your pity party was officially over.

That’s how you came to find yourself at the mall on a Saturday, which you hated, trying to find a dress to go somewhere that you hated. You blew a strand of hair out of your face, exasperated with your best friend. “Charlie! No more, please?” you all but begged. “I’ll take this one.”

She smiled at you, “Finally, I was getting tired of finding all these ugly dresses.” You both giggled. “I’m getting black one for me, do you think Ruby will like it?” Charlie was so nervous about taking Ruby to the homecoming dance, that she had become practically unhinged in trying to make sure everything would be perfect for that night.

You hugged her, “Yes, you big dork! I bet she won’t be able to keep her hands off of you,” you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively at her.

“I know of at least two guys whose won’t be able to take their eyes off you,” Charlie said with a wink.

“Two?” you looked at her questioningly.

“Adam for one….I am so glad you decided to go with him. The other one well, let’s just say I bet Dean will still be at your house when you get home,” she winked.

“No, he won’t,” you blushed. Ever since the two of you had talked and you told him that it was his choice he hadn’t made a single move toward you in ‘that’ way. You were back to being the kid sister. The two of you paid for your dresses and sat in the food court, sharing a giant pretzel while you waited on Sam-he was getting the final fitting on his suit.

–

The night of the homecoming was a brisk fall night. Cas had been gone with Dean and his dad most of the day, they were finishing cutting up trees for firewood. Your mom had invited Dean over for supper that night as a thank you. She was also sending him home with dessert for his dad. As soon as dinner was over, you rushed upstairs to start getting ready.

“Cas, why’s she in such a hurry tonight?” Dean asked trying to sound casual. He didn’t have any right to know what you were doing.

“She’s got a hot date! It’s fall homecoming, her and some guy Adam, Charlie and Ruby, and Sam and Jess are all going together,” Cas said.

 _‘She’s dating. When did this happen, she didn’t say anything to me?’_ While you were back to the old you, Dean had noticed that his relationship with you was still strained. Sure, you weren’t avoiding him anymore, but your friendship was nothing like it had been before. The doorbell rang and Mrs. Novak yelled from upstairs, “Cas get the door please, I’m helping Y/N, it’s probably Adam!”

Cas rolled his eyes, “Dude, will you let this guy in?”

Dean groaned getting up from the couch, he headed for the door not minding because he wanted a look at this guy. “Yeah,” he gruffly said opening the door.

“Um, hi! Is Y/N ready?” The tall blonde said nervously. “I-I’m Adam.” He stood there shifting from one foot to the other. “Can I come in?”

Dean watched the kid nervously twitch, “Yeah, come on in. Y/N is still getting ready.” Dean motioned the kid in and made his way back to the living room where Cas was still sprawled out on the couch. Dean hit his foot making him move so that Adam could sit down. Dean leaned back against the bar and glared at Adam. “So, Adam” he spat the kid’s name out, “How long have you and Y/N been dating?”

Adam looked from Cas to Dean, “Uh, who are you? I don’t think you’re old enough  to be her dad, and I know she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

“I’m a friend, a good friend,” Dean replied. He was getting ready to give the kid the third degree but he heard footsteps on the stairs, so he just glared at him. He pulled his phone from his pocket, sending Sammy a text asking him to keep his on you at the dance tonight.

“Wow, Y/N, you look beautiful!” Adam said looking surprised.

Dean turned his head toward the stairs and he swore his heart stopped. _‘Fuck, she’s gorgeous!’_ he thought. He made a strangled groan, freezing when your head whipped to the side looking at him.

“Dean are you okay?” you said, quickly stepping off the stairs and walked toward him. You reached an arm out to him, surprised at the electrical shock when your hand connected with his bicep.

Dean looked down at you, his eyes taking in every detail. From your hair that was hanging loose and wavy to the simple elegantly done makeup-the artful cat’s eye lining your gorgeous eyes, to the deep red color on your lips making them look plump and so damn kissable, and the dress, christ the dress was made for you. He smirked when he noticed the locket around your neck.

Your heart stuttered when Dean’s gaze dropped to your mouth. He seemed like he was fighting an internal battle, his eyes moving from your eyes to your mouth and then he licked his lips while staring at your mouth and you felt desire grab a hold deep in your belly causing you to shudder slightly.

“You look gorgeous sweetheart,” Dean whispered.

Th-Thank you,” you stammered, blushing badly.

Adam cleared his throat, “Um, Y/N?” He was clearly uncomfortable and confused as he stared between the two of you.

“Adam, I’m so sorry, you look very handsome,” you said, eyes glancing at Dean as you walked towards him.

“Okay kids, let’s get a couple quick pictures, then you can get on your way,” your mom said. She was watching Dean and chuckled to herself, _‘That boy can’t take his eyes off of her.’_  She stepped closer to Dean while telling you both how to stand for the pictures. Before she was finished, she whispered to Dean, “Dean could you please get Y/N’s shawl, it’s hanging in the hall closet. It matches the dress…Dean, did you hear me?”

Dean jumped slightly, “I’m sorry Mrs. Novak, what?” His eyes going right back to you.

“Y/N’s shawl, hall closet, will you get it?” she laughed.

He nodded, after he got the shawl, he put it on you, taking a second to run his fingers lightly down your bare back, feeling you shiver, he smiled. “Maybe you should wear a coat, Y/N?” He was thinking a winter parka that covered you from neck to feet would do the trick, because damn it all if the kid, Adam was staring at your legs like he couldn’t wait to have them wrapped around his waist.

You giggled, “No, I’ll be okay, thanks though Dean. Mom, I’ll see you later.”

Dean watched as you and Adam walked out of the house, his eyes glaring when Adam put a hand on your lower back. He was still glaring long after the two of you had left the house, when he was hit in the face by a couch pillow.

“Dude, that’s my sister you were eye fucking!” Cas growled from the couch, looking slightly amused.

Dean shifted his glare towards his best friend, “Shut up!” Dean walked over to the couch, plopped down next to Cas and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

–

**Three Months later**

He was a damn stalker! He couldn’t believe that you were still seeing that kid. It made no sense at all to him. Dean knew that Cas and Sam thought it was ridiculous the lengths he went to, just to show up in the same places where you and Adam would be.

Tonight, he was going to find out just how serious it was between the two of you. For the first time in months, you were going to be with him, alone for a couple of hours. He had already figured out that Cas was throwing him a surprise birthday party at Harvelle’s and you were supposed to keep him occupied.

He pulled up in front of your house, taking a deep breath he got out and headed for the door. He rang the doorbell and waited, nervously. He smiled as he heard you yelling to hold on. When you opened the door and motioned for him to come in, he noticed that you were on the phone with someone. He went into the den, made himself comfortable on the sofa and waited.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that Charlie, it’s more like he keeps pushing the issue. I’ve told him no a thousand times, but…”you trailed off as you noticed Dean standing at the kitchen door looking odd. “Uh, I gotta go, Charlie, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” You pressed end on your cell, looking embarrassed.

“Who keeps pushing the issue?” he asked quietly. “Y/N, I asked you a question.” He was angry and the anger just kept building. Dean had a feeling he knew who you were talking about, but he needed to hear it from your lips.

You gulped nervously, grabbing a lock of hair you started to twirl it around your finger, you tried to think of a way to make it sound not as bad, because he would kill Adam. Finally you took a deep breath and it all came spilling out. “Uh, You know me and Adam have been dating, right?” At his nod you continued, “Well, here lately, when we’re alone, he, uh…”

Dean clenched his jaw, “He what, sweetheart?”

“He wants us to have…to make….fuck, why do you care?” you asked, your face was so hot it felt like it was on fire.

“Why do I care?” Dean stalked across the kitchen to stand in front of you. “I care, because if this asshole is thinking that he has the right to pressure you into sex, then I have the right to beat his ass,” he growled.

“Dean…wait,” you said gripping his arm, you could feel the tension in his whole body, hell he was practically vibrating from it. “It’s just that lately, I’ve thought about it. I mean, I’m almost eighteen, lots of other girls have had sex already. Hell, even Cas has had sex, you probably have too.” One look at his slightly red cheeks and you had the answer to that question. “I’m tired of being the odd one out,” you shrugged.

“Odd one out? Look, if you aren’t sure that he’s the one, then there is no wrong or right. Sweetheart, when you find that guy, the one who doesn’t make you question if it’s something you want to do just because everyone else is doing it, then that’s the guy,” Dean said.

“What if I already have met that guy?” you say in a near whisper. You had met that guy years ago, and he was standing in front of you. Why was he so dense about it?

Dean furrowed his brow, “Who are you talking about?” There was no way that you meant him, he knew that you had had a crush on him a long time ago, but that was over right?

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t think of me like that,” you said sadly. You looked down at your feet, not able to take the look on his face.

He curled his finger under your chin and lifted your head to look at him, “Who is it?” he said softly.

“I think you already know the answer to that, Dean,” you swallowed nervously. This was it, you were going to lay all your cards out on the table, tell him that you loved him, damn the consequences. You watched his face as he replayed the words over in his head, first there was disbelief, then shock, finally realization played over his features.

Dean was having a hard time believing what you had said. It was him, still him after all these months. The longer he stared at your face, though the more real it became. Could you really have the same feelings for him? His eyes darkened at that thought. Slowly he moved his hand up to cup your cheek, when you breathed out a soft sigh and your own eyes darkened with desire, he gave in to what he had been feeling for the last couple of years.

He put his other hand on your waist and pulled you close to him so that your body was flush with his, he lowered his head slowly, giving you time to say no, to pull away but when you didn’t, he groaned and crashed into your lips, hard and fast at first, then he willed himself to slow down. He gently pulled your bottom lip in between his teeth and tugged it, nibbling until you let out a soft moan. He used that opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth and begin to tease yours with soft, gentle flicks, groaning when your tongue started to shyly swirl against his. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against his body so that you could feel how hard he was against your stomach.

When Dean pulled you tight to his body, you thought you would combust into flames, you wrapped your arms around his neck, moving one hand to grip his hair tightly. You moaned at the feel of his tongue against yours, he slid his hands down over your ass, squeezing gently as he picked you up, he broke the kiss off long enough to whisper, “Wrap your legs around my waist, sweetheart.”

You did as he asked, meeting his lips again as he walked from the kitchen towards the den. Once he reached the sofa, he put one knee down on the cushion, he gently laid you down and settled between your legs. He began to kiss up your jaw, teasing, nibbling little bites that had you panting. He reached your ear and drew the lobe in between his teeth, he growled softly.

You couldn’t believe that this was happening! Dean Winchester was lying on top of you, kissing you into oblivion, grinding his hard length against your covered mound. “Oh, Dean, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you breathlessly whispered. You rolled your hips upward trying to get some sweet relief.

“God, sweetheart, you feel so fucking good,” he said voice gravelly.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this, that you’re touching me like this..” you trailed off, inhaling deeply when one of his hands slipped under your t-shirt. “I’ve wanted this, you for so long. Not like a kid sister at all.”

Dean looked down at your face, god you looked completely wrecked with desire. Your mouth was swollen from his kisses, you were panting, chest heaving, your skin felt like it was on fire next to his palm. Your words sinking into his mind, ‘Fuck, what am I doing!’ he thought. He pulled back, resting his weight on his hands.

“Dean? Why did you…”

“God, Y/N, we can’t do this, I’m sorry,” Dean said slowly.


	7. Baby, Please Don't Go

_**Present** _

_Sam helped Dean up from the floor, “C’mon man, let’s sit over here.” He gently led his older brother over to a row of chairs. “What’s going on?”_

_Dean closed his eyes, tears still leaking out he drew in a shaky breath, “Everything was going fine, I thought, shit now I don’t know. She-She screamed something was wrong, that she couldn’t breathe,” his chest started heaving, he couldn’t catch his own breath._

_“Dean! Dean! Look at me!” Sam yelled. When Dean refused to open his eyes, Sam moved from his seat and crouched down in front of his face. “DEAN! Sam shouted, “Don’t make me do it this way, man. Look at me now!”_

_Dean slowly opened his eyes, his heart was felt like it was getting bigger and bigger and would burst from his chest at any moment. He also wondered what happened to all the oxygen in the room, he certainly wasn’t getting enough, starting to feel light headed, his vision limited to the white starbursts exploding in his line of sight. He clenched his eyes shut when his stomach rolled with nausea. ‘Why is Sammy yelling’ he thought._

_“Dean, look at me, c’mon jerk, open your eyes. There we go, breathe with me. In, Out, In, Out. That’s it. What happened with Y/N?” Sam said when he was finally confident that his brother wasn’t going to have an anxiety attack._

_Dean took a deep breath, “Bitch. Um, after she said she couldn’t breathe, the doctor said she was going to check her and then alarms started goin’ off and Y/N, she-she just went limp and they shoved me out here.” He slumped over, elbows on his knees, his head resting on his hands as he struggled to keep the fear at bay._

_Sam looked stunned, “Look, I’m sure everything’s gonna be alright.”_

_Dean looked at him, eyes glassy with tears, “Sammy, I could lose them both,” he shuddered. “I won’t survive it.”_

_The sound of an automatic door ‘swooshing’ open brought Sam’s attention the gowned figure walking towards them. He held his breath and nudged Dean._

_“Mr. Winchester,” a somber voice asked. At Dean’s jerky nod the voice went on, “Please come with me.”_

–

**Seven Years Ago**

“God, Y/N, we can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

You were laying on the couch under the man you love and he was saying that he couldn’t do this. “NO! Please, don’t say that.” You raised your head up and brought your lips to his. Soft nibbling kisses against his bottom lip, sliding your mouth to his scruffy jawline, his head turning to the side while his arms shook from wanting to give in and cover your body. Open mouth kisses up to his ear, you drew his earlobe into your mouth sucking on it gently.

Dean let out a soft groan as your soft lips met his heated skin. Your legs wrapping around his waist, rolling your hips upward. His hardened cock being felt through your jeans. Dean felt his control slipping as he ground his hardened length against you. He tried to avoid your lips meeting his again, he knew if they did he wouldn’t be able to stop from taking you.

You released his ear and moved back down his jaw trying to get to his mouth. “Please, Dean,” you whispered breathlessly.

“God, what am i goin’ to do with you sweetheart,” he murmured.

“Anything you want,” you smiled nervously.

“Fuck, you can’t say stuff like that. Look at me like that. I-I’m trying to do the right thing here,” Dean said voice gravelly. He stared into your eyes, lowering his head maddeningly slow, just as his mouth was about to claim yours his cell phone rang bringing him back to his senses.

You knew the minute his phone rang, your chance at finally getting what you had wanted was gone. He pulled off of you scrambling to the other side of the couch. Chest heaving, he ran a hand through his short spiky hair, he grabbed his phone, “Cas? What’s up?”

Sitting up on the other side of the couch, you drew your knees up wrapping your arms around them you laid your head on your knees. You sniffled as tears fell silently. If your heart didn’t feel like it was breaking, you would of gladly kicked your brother’s ass for calling.

“Yeah, man, uh, I’ll be there in like ten minutes,” Dean said. “Y/N?” he said softly, hating himself when he saw your shoulders shake and heard you sniffling. “Sweetheart, please look at me,” he whispered.

“Just go.”

“We need to talk about-”

“There’s nothing to talk about Dean, just go, please. You don’t want to be late,” you chuckled trying to cover up the pain you were feeling.

Dean got to his feet shakily, he stepped in front of you, hating that you squeezed your eyes shut instead of looking at him. He bent down to kiss the top of your head and swore his heart cracked a little more when you jerked away from his touch. He walked through the house, his head and heart being pulled into way too many directions. He slid behind the wheel of Baby, put both hands on the wheel and began to bounce his head off of his hands. He jammed the key into the ignition, arguing silently to himself about going back in that house and taking you or leave and know that he had most likely put the final nail in his coffin with you.

–

When you heard the Impala speed away, you knew what needed to be done. You were graduating in just a few months and had been offered a scholarship to Stanford. You weren’t getting the full ride Sammy was, but still, leaving the state of Kansas and Dean Winchester behind would be the only way you survived. Wiping your tears away, you went back to the kitchen to grab your phone, you thought about texting Charlie and seeing if she would come hang out but you remembered that she and Ruby had a date. You clutched the phone in your hand as you walked aimlessly to your room. Flopping down onto your bed, you finally let the sobs loose that you had been holding onto.

–

**Two Months Later**

You were sitting at your eighteenth birthday wishing you were somewhere, anywhere else. How pathetic was that? You couldn’t even bring yourself to enjoy it. Honestly, if it wasn’t for your mom, wanting to give the party, because her baby was leaving, you would rather be in your room listening to Emo music, feeling bad for yourself. The party had started off great, all of your friends were there laughing, dancing, eating. Then you heard it. The unmistakable sound of the Impala pulling up out front sent your grin plummeting and your heart to racing.

Dean stood outside the house for a few minutes, giving himself a pep talk. Ever since the night of his twenty-first birthday party, he couldn’t seem to bring himself back here. He couldn’t stand the thought of you hating him, but the thought of you leaving him well that was something that would kill him.

He straightened his back and headed for the door. Mrs. Novak let him in with a smile and a hug, “She’s on the patio, Dean.”

He nodded his thanks, and walked that way. He saw you through the sliding glass doors looking right at him already as a matter of fact. He saw the flash of pain, then you blinked and there was nothing but blackness. An emptiness that he felt echoed in his own head and heart. Slowly he walked towards you, when you took a step back, he paused. Dean held his hands out as if to say, I won’t hurt you, at your shaky nod he moved right in front of you.

You stared at his chest, unable to bring your eyes to his emerald gaze. He slowly reached out for your hand, lacing his fingers through yours, “Can we go somewhere and talk, sweetheart?”

Nodding, you simply led him into the house and up the stairs to your room, shutting the door behind you both.

“Why are you leaving?” Dean said softly. He was unwilling to let your hand go, fearing that you would walk out of the room, hell out of his life.

“I’m leaving for school, you know that.”

“No that’s not the only reason. We both know it. I know I have screwed up more times than any one man could in a similar situation,” he said voice cracking.

You glanced up sharply at his face, “Dean, I can’t do it anymore. Everytime I think we’re close, something happens to remind you that I’m still a kid in your eyes. A person’s heart is only able to withstand so much pain before it turns to stone,” you eyes watering heavily.

“You are definitely not a kid anymore. But that night that we almost…Sweetheart you deserve so much more for your first time, not a silly crush that you are going to grow out of,” Dean swore the words tasted like ash in his mouth.

“Crush?” you said incredulously. “Where did you get the idea that it’s a crush? Not from me, I-I love you, you big dumb idiot!”

Dean’s eyes widened, his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest, he stepped closer to you. He brought one hand up to cup your face, “Say that again?”

You giggled, “I love you, you big-”

“Not all of it,” he growled playfully. “I-It’s not a crush? You love me?” he shook his head unable to believe what he was hearing. “I’m not good enough for you sweetheart, you deserve so much more than me.”

“Dean, you are who I’ve wanted since first grade when you saved me from Gordon. As I got older, the crush turned into more and now I love you so much it hurts. There is nothing in this world better than you.”

He groaned, crashed his lips into yours and let the world drift away, he broke apart only to whisper, “I love you. Baby, please don’t go.”


	8. Baby, Will You Marry Me

**_Present_ **

_“Are you as excited as me?” you asked Dean._

_“Sweetheart you have no idea,” Dean chuckled. He wrapped his arm around you, kissing the side of your head._

_“Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, the doctor will see you now.”_

**Two Years Ago**

You and Dean had been together for over three years now. There had been plenty of ups and downs in the relationship right from the beginning. The decision to move to Stanford and attend school had been the hardest. Dean wanted you to go, he didn’t want you to miss out on such a great opportunity. You wanted to stay with him not wanting to waste another minute without him.

The two of you finally came to a compromise, that included him coming to visit every other month, video calls at least once a week, and split holidays. You, Sam and Charlie had found a small house to rent so none of you had to live in the dorms. Dean would never admit it but he actually felt better knowing that Sammy was down the hall if you ever needed anything.

Finally after four long years of studying you were graduating from college. Your parents and Cas would be flying out the following week for the ceremony and then you would drive back to Kansas. Dean was arriving later tonight to help you start to pack and to give you and him some much needed alone time. You had to work the evening shift at the school library so Sam and Charlie were picking Dean up. You left a sweet note on your pillow and hurried out the door.  
–  
“C’mon Sammy take me to the library, I’ve missed my girl!” Dean begged.

Sam chuckled, “You are so whipped, dude. I never thought I’d see the day that my big brother would want to go to a library.”

“Give the guy a break, Sammy. It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to take him there. Might just be what Seth needs to see,” Charlie said from the backseat.

Sam’s hands tightened on the wheel and his eyes shot to the rearview mirror, as he tried to give her one of his signature bitch faces.

Dean’s smile fell, “Who’s Seth?” Neither you or Sammy had told him about some guy. He felt anger ignite deep in his belly while he clenched his hands into fists as he waited for Sam to speak.

“Dude, he’s nobody. He developed a bit of a crush on Y/N, she helped him with a term paper,” Sam said.

“He’s obviously someone if Charlie felt the need to say something about him,” Dean growled. “Does she like him?”

Sam looked at Dean in shock, “Are you serious, right now!” He looked back at the road while he tried to reign his temper in. “She has loved you since we were kids, you big idiot!”

Dean exhaled heavily, “I know that Sammy, it’s just she could do so much better than me. I didn’t go to some fancy college, I’m just a grease monkey.”

Sam pulled into the driveway of their small shared house, he turned the car off and silently nodded at Charlie as she got out. He looked over at his big brother, hated seeing him beat himself up. “Dean, she wouldn’t care if you were a high school dropout or if you graduated top of the class at Harvard. She loves you! If you were the richest man in the world and you lived in a mansion, or if you were poor and had to live on the streets, she would only see you,” Sam said.

Dean nodded his head shakily, “I know you’re right, I just want to give her the world, Sammy.”

Sam clapped his brother on the shoulder, “I know, dude. C’mon let’s get your stuff inside and we’ll go see your girl.”

Dean walked into your bedroom, set his bag down next to the bed and flopped face down on the bed. He breathed deeply and instantly felt his nerves calm down. He could smell your strawberry shampoo, your laundry detergent, all the things he associated with you. His outstretched hands moved over the bed and he felt paper crinkle. He lifted his head and smiled when he saw your writing. He read and reread the note feeling his smile grow bigger each time.   
–

Sam was glad to see Dean in such a better mood when he came out of your room, he was worried Seth would be at the library and that would be a bad thing. He grabbed his books so that he could study while Dean had a short reunion with you, then they got into his car and headed towards the library.

Pulling into the closest spot he could, both brothers got out and walked toward the entrance. “Sammy, I don’t know how you do it. I mean yeah the weather sucks in Kansas, but at least we get the different seasons, here it’s always the same.”

Sam chuckled, “You get used to it, and I hope that you and Y/N will come visit me, I got into law school, Dean. I start in the fall.”

Dean stopped and looked at his little brother with such pride, “That’s awesome! Of course we’ll still come out here to visit!”

Walking through the heavy doors, both men got quiet, Dean was looking everywhere for you since you weren’t behind the counter. Sam let his eyes wander, groaning when he saw Seth sitting at a table. Sam spied you first, you were carrying a book and heading right for Seth’s table, he moved to step in Dean’s line of sight.

Sam saw you bend down and smile at Seth, hand him the book, that’s when Dean found you. Then Seth reached out and grabbed your hand and Sam could feel the anger coming off of Dean. Sam reached out with one hand to stop Dean but he had already moved around him and was stalking towards you.

“Dean!” he whisper yelled. He started moving behind his brother, trying to catch up to him.

You however had heard him call Dean and your eyes went wide when you spotted Dean walking towards you. You smiled and tried to go to him, but Seth was still holding your hand and trying to talk you into going out after work. “Dean!” you yelled.

Dean could see that you were trying to get away but this guy just wouldn’t let go of you, it made him even angrier if that were possible. He could tell that you were happy to see him, and for just a minute he smiled, then he saw you tugging your hand trying to get loose and he stopped thinking. He made it over to where you were standing. “I think you need to let her go,” he growled.

“Fuck off, dude!” Seth said. “I was talking to her first! Go find your own little co-ed.”

Your eyes got huge, “SETH! This is my boyfriend, Dean. I’ve told you about him.”

Dean growled a little louder this time, “I’m not going to tell you again, LET. HER. GO.”

You finally yanked your hand free and wrapped both hands behind Dean’s head. Dean still hadn’t taken his eyes off of Seth though, he gently grabbed your arms and pulled them from his neck and then he moved you so that you were standing behind him. “If I ever see you with your hands on her again, I will end you.”

Seth stood up from his seat, moved to stand right in front of Dean and said, “That’s her decision. It’s not the first time I’ve had my hands on her, guy,” he whispered.

You gasped at his lie, trying to tell Dean the truth, when Dean suddenly clenched his fist and punched Seth right in the mouth. His head snapped back and all movement in the library ceased. When Seth recovered enough he went to throw his own punch, only to have his arm stopped by Sam. You pushed Dean out of the way and stepped up to Seth, it was hard for you to be intimidating when you were only five two, but you did your best.

“I felt sorry for you, asshole! How dare you lie to my boyfriend about touching me! He is the only one who gets to touch me. You are just a miserable cry baby that can’t hold a candle to a real man!” you spat. You turned to walk away when he called you a bitch in a low voice. Dean tried to step around you again, but you surprised him by turning and your fist was swinging before he could stop you. It met with Seth’s nose and there was a loud crunch and then blood spurted from his broken nose. Sam started laughing which caused everyone else to laugh too.

You were shaking your hand because it hurt from the impact as Seth stood there staring at you in disbelief blood pouring from his nose and his lip. Dean laughed at his expression, “C’mon slugger, let’s get you home and put some ice on that hand.”  
–  
Dean came back into your room with a fresh ice pack for your hand. “Looks like we need a reminder on how to throw a punch,” he smirked.  
You glared at him from the bed, sticking your tongue out at him, “Jerk!”

He smiled down at you, “You love me.” He loved that he was with you again, seeing you wearing an old AC/DC shirt of his for bed just made his day. He crawled up the bed so that he was straddling your legs, he leaned closer to you gently pressing his lips to yours.

You looked up at him after he moved back, your eyes filled with love, “Yes, I do. You moved the ice pack to your night stand and ran your hands up and down his arms, then up to his bare chest, you moved your body so that you were laying down and he was above you, placing your hands on his sides you pulled him down so that he was settled between your legs. You bit your lower lip, “How much did you miss me?”

He cocked an eyebrow, “Can’t you tell sweetheart?,” he chuckled, grinding himself into your warm heat.

You moaned, “Show me.”  
–  
The two of you laid there, sweat covering both your bodies. Dean had his head on your chest, he was trembling and panting. “I love you so much, Y/N. I uh, wanted to do this later, but I think it’s perfect.” He kissed your chest right where your heart is, then he pulled himself up and moved to the bottom of the bed, he grabbed something from his bag and moved back to you. He straddled your legs again, smiled down at you, he moved some hair from your face.

“I wanted to make this special, do it somewhere romantic, but in my heart I know this is the right time. I was a fool for so long, Y/N, I almost lost the chance to be with my best friend. Today, when that asshat had his hands on you and wouldn’t let you go, I thought I was going to kill him. It made me realize how special what we have is and how I don’t want to lose another minute with you.” He leaned down and kissed you softly. “I’m not the richest man and we may struggle at times, but I promise I will love you for the rest of our lives. What I’m trying to say sweetheart, is that I want to see you pregnant with my babies, I wanna grow old with you.”

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, only he would propose when you were both naked in bed, you smiled gently.

“Baby, will you marry me?”


	9. Hope

**Present**

  
“Mr. Winchester, would you come with me please,” the petite blonde haired nurse said gently.

Dean stood, his legs shaking, “I-Is Y/N alright?” he stammered.

“Follow me,” the nurse repeated. She gently took his arm and led him through the heavy double doors of the obstetrics floor.

The doors closed silently behind them, Dean watched as people were running from different rooms, the majority of them going into the room marked OR6. His heart thudding, palms damp from sweat and tears threatening to fall from his eyes, he looked at the nurse, “Are they okay?” he asked hoarsely.

She looked at him with gentle eyes, “Would you like to meet your daughter?”

Dean nodded jerkily, “Y/N? Please tell me she’s okay?” He started repeating his silent prayer that she would be okay, he couldn’t do this on his own, he couldn’t lose you now.

“She’s in surgery, they’re doing everything they can,” came the reply. The nurse stopped in front of a solid wooden door.

She pushed it open softly, and motioned Dean in behind her. He entered the room, his heart thudding he stopped in front of the bassinet. He closed his eyes, it didn’t feel right doing this without you, you should be here so that you could meet your daughter together, like you both wanted. Dean opened his eyes and looked down, the pink blanket is the first thing he saw he moved his eyes up and watched as the delicate fingers closed into fists and waved around. He inhaled sharply when he saw her face, she had your nose, the rest of her features were a delicate blend of the both of you-but the eyes, the eyes were all his. He watched in amazement as her eyelids opened, long blonde eyelashes fluttering, those were going to be his downfall when she got older.

When those eyes opened fully, he found himself staring into eyes as green as his. He knew he was crying at this point, but he couldn’t help himself. “Can-Can I hold her?”

“Of course,” the nurse smiled gently. “My name is Erin and I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

Dean scooped his tiny daughter up, moving towards the rocking chair in the room. He sat down gently, rocking slightly, while father and daughter stared at each other. As the nurses opened the door, a frantic voice called out-

**“CODE BLUE! OR6, STAT!”**

**Eight Hours Later**

Dean glanced at his daughter, while she slept next to him, his eyes constantly going to her chest to make sure she was still breathing. He was exhausted-physically, mentally, emotionally. Taking a deep breath, he turned the small light on in the room, he breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard no fussing. He took the paper and pen in his hand and started to write.

_My Dearest Hope,  
Today is your birthday. I always imagined this day going so different than the way it did. It started out perfect, you woke me up by kicking your momma who had her belly pressed against my back. Don’t tell anyone but that is my favorite way to wake up since we found out about you._

_I made your mom her favorite (and I think your favorite breakfast) waffles with strawberries. Your momma was always craving those. When we knew for certain that you were on your way, we were both so nervous, but your mom, well she can keep it together in stressful situations let me tell you. She was smiling so big when she realized that we were actually going to meet you today, to tell you the truth, I was excited to meet you too._

_I don’t know if I’ll make a good Dad or not, but there’s plenty of people to help me. Your Uncle Sammy already loves you to pieces and I’m pretty sure you’ve recovered from the kisses and snuggling from Grandma and Grandpap. It didn’t feel right to meet you without your mom though, that is something we wanted to do together, but it didn’t work out the way it should have._

_I know I’ll make mistakes with you Hope, but I hope you can forgive me for them. I’ll do the best I can and know this sweetheart, I will never let anyone hurt you. Well, you’re starting to fuss, so I think you want fed again, I think this time while I’m feeding you, I’ll tell you the story about how your mom and I met._

_Love,_

_Daddy_

**_Five Months Ago_ **

_Dearest Holly, Emma, Samantha(your daddy said no),Mackenzie,_

_I could go on and on with the names, as you can see we haven’t decided yet on one. I just wanted to try out a few and see if something stuck. Today we found out for sure that you’re going to be a girl-I bet you’re thinking that’s a good thing considering the names, huh kiddo. I’m sitting here in what will be your bedroom and I am imagining how it’s going to change over the years._

_I can’t wait to see what kind of personality you have. I imagine that you will be just like your Daddy, heaven help us all. He is something else baby girl let me tell you. He will protect and love you so much, just like I will. Your Daddy is the most amazing man I have ever met, he’s also the most stubborn, you’ll see. Just know that he loves you when he is being pig-headed._

_I’m scared that I won’t do a good job raising you, but I know that we’ll learn together. Everyone is already so excited to meet you. Uncle Cas says he can’t wait to tell you embarrassing stories about me-just know that I kicked his butt a few times thanks to things your Daddy taught me. Uncle Sammy is going to tell you stories about Daddy-the G-rated ones anyway. Baby girl you have four grandparents that are going to spoil you rotten, and I can’t wait to see you wrap everyone around your finger._

_Daddy is yelling for me to come lay down now, he wants to sing to you like he does every night._

_I can’t wait to meet you, Eve, Brittiny, Olivia, Ellie. Sorry just trying a few more out. I love you baby girl!_

_Love,_

_Mommy_

**_Six Years Later_ **

“Hope, let’s move it, munchkin!” Dean called out.

“Coming daddy!” came the little voice.

He grinned at the sound of her feet echoing on the stairs as she ran to meet him. Dean was glad he never got around to fixing the screen door so that it shut right, especially since Hope had no slow down switch. She hit the door open with her tiny palm smacking against it, he chuckled when she shook her hand from the sting. She was careful about coming down the stairs though, something that Uncle Sammy was adamant about.

She huffed out of breath as she finally grabbed his free hand. He gripped it tight and they turned and started walking towards the lake. He started humming softly as they got closer to where Sam and John were waiting, their poles already cast out into the water.

“Daddy, I know that song!” Hope looked up at him in surprise.

Dean nodded his head, “You should, I’ve sang it to you every night since I found out about you.”

“It was Mommy’s favorite too, huh, Daddy,” Hope said softly.

Dean closed his eyes briefly, “It sure was sweetheart. You wanna help me sing it for Mommy, now?” He opened his eyes to see her nod.

_“Hey Jude..”_


End file.
